Sibongile Mugabe patient zero in syphilis outbreak

9/25/1985

Mars authorities now say they have identified patient zero in the recent syphilis outbreak on Mars as Sibongile Mugabe. She is coincidentally the niece of Zimbabwean dictator Robert Mugabe who was exiled to Mars by her uncle recently. We managed to reach Sibongile for a comment and she stated: ''Fuck you all! Syphilis is my gift to Mars.'' Sibongile has vowed to infect as many as she can with her disease. She claims to have had unprotected sex with approximately 100 men since her very recent arrival on Mars.


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