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Latest news from around the solar system 9/13/2022
Nuclear Weapons on Oberon
The government of Oberon today announced they have successfully tested a nuclear bomb. By the end of...
Gladiator fights back on Rhea
It's been 8 years since the Rhea parliament banned the popular gladiator fights where combatants bat...
Titans offered surgery to remove sense of smell
The Titan government has offered a new solution to the Titan stench problem. All residents of Titan ...
Governor of Ganymede escapes from kidnappers
The governor of Ganymede who was kidnapped last week and tortured by communist rebels showed up toda...
Uruguayans furious over Argentine killing of Pluto capybara.
Last night drunk celebrating Argentines on one of the Pluto bases controlled by Argentina killed and...
Governor of Ganymede kidnapped by communist rebels
Earlier today a group of heavily armed communist rebels stormed the Ganymede capitol building and ab...
Martian psycho rights leader killed by psycho
Oleg Popov, leader of the Martian Association of the Acceptance of the Medically Psychotic, or MAAMP...
Uruguay takes control of Charon
Uruguay has now taken control of both bases on Charon in effect giving them control over all human c...
Mars psycho murders
Murders have been commonplace on Mars for decades, but some Earth governments are now saying enough ...
Lapetus imposes quarantine to stop syphilis outbreak
Lapetus authorities have issued a global quarantine order effective immediately to stop the recent s...
This week in history
1980 - First Americans land on Mars
After being beat to Mars by several Soviet crews, the Americans today finally made a successful land...
1994 - Lunatic declares himself king of Io
An insane member of the first crew to land on Io last month has now declared himself king of Io. The...
1994 - Martian penile explosions remain a mystery
The investigation into the gruesome wave of penile explosions that killed hundreds of Martians last ...
2002 - Murder during first Lapetus landing
A team of 127 people entered a lander to Lapetus today, but only 126 made it to the surface alive. U...
1991 - Ganymede landing ends in deadly violence.
The first human landing on Ganymede ended in chaos today as two senior crew members started fighting...
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