Source of mysterious penile explosions on Mars found

3/4/2022

The source of the latest wave of deadly penile explosions that have killed several hundred Martians recently has been determined by the Martian department of health with all certainty to be an erection enhancement medication produced by a local manufacturer. Strict Martian integrity and privacy laws prohibit the Martian government to disclose the name of the drug or the name of the manufacturer. An emergency bill has been introduced to the Martian government that would give authorities the legal right to step in when a non-prescription medicine poses a public heath threat. The bill is unlikely to pass any time soon since the Martian government is right now debating the monumental language copyright reform bill that is expected to tie the government down for the foreseeable future. So for the time being the sale of the deadly medication will continue.


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