Lapetus imposes quarantine to stop syphilis outbreak3/11/2022
Lapetus authorities have issued a global quarantine order effective immediately to stop the recent syphilis outbreak. It has been pointed out that you need to have sex with people to contract syphilis, but apparently on Lapetus people greet each other by having intercourse. Maybe switching to hand shakes would help say some, but for most Lapetusians who have grown accustomed to having sex with several strangers every day that is absolutely unthinkable. | 
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