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Io Local News
King Bob of Io jails opponents of renaming Io.
2/27/2022
King Bob of Io has imprisoned a number of people who have continued to call Io Io instead of its new legal name Bob. King Bob I of Io recently renamed...
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King Bob I of Io renames Io Bob
2/24/2022
King Bob I of Io has now officially renamed the Jovian moon Io which he rules after himself. The rest of human civilization will most likely continue ...
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King Bob to construct pyramid
10/4/2018
Insane lunatic King Bob I of Io has announced plans to construct a giant pyramid to serve as his tomb when he dies. It will be double the size of the ...
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King of Io out of coma
3/19/2014
His royal highness King Bob I of Io awakened from his coma today after having fallen from the city ceiling two weeks ago. Doctors say he has major bra...
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King of Io in critical condition
3/5/2014
King Bob I of Io is in critical condition at Bob City Hospital of Bob City, Io after having jumped from the city ceiling into the duck pond at the cit...
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King Bob's harem violated by false eunuch
3/14/2008
One of the eunuchs guarding King Bob's harem in the Io royal palace turned out not to be a eunuch at all and has been sleeping with several of King Bo...
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King Bob of Io marries
7/15/2007
His royal highness King Bob I of Io today married all 16 women on Io in a lavish ceremony. The women will from now on be part of King Bob's royal hare...
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King of Io moves into royal palace
2/27/1999
King Bob I of Io has moved into his new palace. This is the first ever palace built on a world other than the Earth. In spite of Io being a tiny natio...
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Lunatic declares himself king of Io
9/11/1994
An insane member of the first crew to land on Io last month has now declared himself king of Io. The rest of the crew, along with Bob, seems to be suf...
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Successful landing on Io
8/9/1994
This morning's landing on Io by a crew of miners is a major milestone in space colonization. All the major moons of Jupiter now have permanent human o...
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