Lapetus Local News

Lapetus imposes quarantine to stop syphilis outbreak 3/11/2022
Lapetus authorities have issued a global quarantine order effective immediately to stop the recent syphilis outbreak. It has been pointed out that you...
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Syphilis outbreak on Lapetus 2/27/2022
A recent syphilis outbreak on the Saturn moon of Lapetus has been traced back to a prostitute from Mars who arrived on Lapetus last year and has been ...
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Murder during first Lapetus landing 9/6/2002
A team of 127 people entered a lander to Lapetus today, but only 126 made it to the surface alive. Upon landing it was discovered by management that o...
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