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Martian psycho rights leader killed by psycho 3/25/2022
Oleg Popov, leader of the Martian Association of the Acceptance of the Medically Psychotic, or MAAMP was killed today in a random psychotic murder. He...
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Mars psycho murders 3/15/2022
Murders have been commonplace on Mars for decades, but some Earth governments are now saying enough and are pushing for a new UN resolution that would...
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Zaporozhets to remain unchanged 3/8/2022
After big protests against the plans to update the Zaporozhets ZAZ 968 that has been produced in its Martian version on Mars for 35 years Mars Zaporoz...
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Source of mysterious penile explosions on Mars found 3/4/2022
The source of the latest wave of deadly penile explosions that have killed several hundred Martians recently has been determined by the Martian depart...
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More deadly penile explosions on Mars 2/27/2022
Since we reported on a new wave of penile explosions on Mars a few days ago there have been several more cases. Health authorities now say they suspec...
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Martian penile explosions are back 2/24/2022
In 1994 Mars was shocked by a deadly wave of penile explosions. Hundreds of men suffered deadly penile explosions during sex killing both themselves a...
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Martian disco queen to release new album 2/24/2022
Sibongile Mugabe who served as dictator president of Mars for many years, or Marsalina Valentina as she's known in the Martian music industry is headi...
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New Zaporozhets this fall on Mars 2/23/2022
35 years after the first Zaporozhets rolled off the Martian Zaporozhets factory resulting in the famous Zaporozhets bloodbath the company has announce...
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New visa restrictions for Martians visiting Earth 2/20/2022
Starting the first of next month Martians planning to visit Earth must undergo and pass a psychological screening to obtain a visa. The reason is the ...
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Martian fire kills at least 500 2/13/2022
A fire in the small Martian crater city of Koszeg killed most of its inhabitants today. The exact death toll is not yet determined, but it is expected...
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Accomplice of Martian arsonist girl arrested 2/11/2022
Nine year old Florina Munduwalawala of Montevideo was arrested today on arson charges. She was immediately released due to her young age. Her father h...
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Martian arsonist child cracks under torture 2/10/2022
The 8 year old Martian arsonist arrested in Montevideo, Uruguay 2 days ago has finally succumbed to police torture and revealed the identity of her ac...
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Martian arsonist child is daughter of Martian official 2/9/2022
A new twist has emerged in the case of the 8 year old Martian arsonist arrested yesterday in Montevideo, Uruguay. Police now say she is the daughter o...
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Eight year old Martian arsonist arrested in Uruguay 2/8/2022
An 8 year old Martian citizen was arrested today in Montevideo, Uruguay on charges of arson. Montevideo fire fighters and police was called to a viole...
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Martian penile explosions remain a mystery 9/20/1994
The investigation into the gruesome wave of penile explosions that killed hundreds of Martians last month has been concluded without any results. Was ...
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Mysterious penile explosions rock Mars 8/17/1994
A mysterious wave of penile explosions is sweeping across the cities of Mars with alarming results. For some reason men's penises have been exploding ...
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Syphilis pandemic ravages Mars 4/16/1991
Martian health authorities have upgraded the syphilis outbreak on the planet to an official pandemic. 12% of the population has now been infected with...
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Dictator of Mars quits disco 3/4/1988
Sibongile Mugabe, also known as disco queen Marsalina Valentina announced today with a very heavy heart that she will retire from the music business t...
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First Martian car roll-off turns into blood bath 3/18/1987
The first car rolled off the assembly line at the Zaporozhets Automobile Factory of Mars today with great fanfare. President Sibongile Mugabe was the ...
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Zaporozhets automobile factory to be built on Mars 2/26/1986
In a joint venture between Zaporozhets Automobiles of the Soviet Union and Martian Automobiles Corporation Zaporozhets automobiles specially adapted f...
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Sibongile Mugabe dictator of Mars 11/15/1985
Sibongile Mugabe also known under her disco artist name Marsalina Valentina is now the dictator president of the newly formed Republic of Mars. The ne...
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Sibongile Mugabe patient zero in syphilis outbreak 9/25/1985
Mars authorities now say they have identified patient zero in the recent syphilis outbreak on Mars as Sibongile Mugabe. She is coincidentally the niec...
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Syphilis outbreak on Mars 9/22/1985
Syphilis, long forgotten and thought to be a disease of the past has broken out on Mars. Dozens of cases have been reported in the last few days and m...
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Martians support psycho policy 2/28/1985
Martians took to the streets yesterday to protest a suggested cancellation of the so called psychos only policy. The policy has been in place for two ...
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Zimbabwe dictator Robert Mugabe exiles niece to Mars 2/22/1985
Infamous dictator Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe has reportedly sent his niece Sibongile Mugabe into exile on Mars by enrolling her on a Soviet one-way col...
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Disco lives on Mars 5/17/1984
Disco may have been dead on Earth for a while, but in Brezhnevgrad, Mars it's the hottest thing. New discotheques are popping up weekly, and on the ra...
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Mars psycho policy shows effects 4/2/1984
The violent crime rate has skyrocketed in Brezhnevgrad, the Soviet Mars colony since the introduction of the psychos only policy by the Soviet governm...
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Soviets announce new psychos only policy for Mars 2/23/1983
Life on Mars is very dangerous, and it is very common for people to stop functioning psychologically when their loved ones keep dying around them. Sov...
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First Americans land on Mars 9/15/1980
After being beat to Mars by several Soviet crews, the Americans today finally made a successful landing on the red planet yesterday. The relatively sm...
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Soviets first on Mars with humans 2/9/1980
Krasnyy Mars Drakon 2 lands. First successful human landing on Mars and establishment of permanent outpost on Mars. The Soviets successfully landed on...
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American Mars lander explodes on descent killing 22 3/26/1979
The first American attempt to land on Mars and set up a permanent outpost ended in disaster this morning as the lander carrying 22 people exploded sho...
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Soviet Mars lander crashes killing 70 3/12/1979
The lander of what was to be the first colonizing mission to Mars by the Soviet mission Krasnyy Mars Drakon 1 crashed into the Martian surface today o...
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